Hey dad! You might be the only one who is going to read this blog... But, as you requested it I shall write it. For anyone else who may be reading this (HA!) I will tell you WHY he has requested this little journal...
This summer I started a job at a little chapel which shall remain nameless. I applied for the job because I am an event management major at UF so I wanted to help plan events. Turns out I am a facility supervisor (your guess is as good as mine) and just unlock the buildings and turn on the AC for events... Not quite my dream job but the boozing (ahem, eating) money is nice.
Now this little chapel (max 95 guests type of little) has some of the strangest and how shall I say kinda dumb without being insulting... not the brightest patrons and visitors. So far I have had a bride in a forest green dress that matched her hubby-to-be's vest, we printed off the speech for the best man and they were discussing dungeons and dragons. Oh yeah and all the groomsmen changed into jeans and ratty t-shirts for the REHEARSAL DINNER. I have had a countless amount of people ask me where the bathroom is and many just yell at me through my window.
Let me paint you a picture of my office so you can see the frustration this gives me.... Our building has one door, my office is to the right of it with a big window, which I sit in front of. When you walk into the building there is one door to my office and literally 6 inches from it is the restroom. You cannot walk into the building without seeing the stickfigure and rollerderby man and woman picture. At least 3, max 10 people ask me every day where the bathroom is by poking their heads in my door. Mind you, they could do this from standing INSIDE the bathroom. Now on ocassion, at LEAST 4 times a week people don't bother opening the door and just yell through my window. These windows are not made of steel and I could probably hear them at a normal level (they can probably tell which episode of the Bachelorette I am on...) And I have to point at the door to tell them to open it. Novel concept I know. Some reallllly special guests will actually just knock on the door at this point. I am not going to get up from my cozy chair to let them in so if they can't figure it out they can use a tree outside.
This summer has been the summer of stupid questions and problems.
Yesterday an elderly man came into the office, me being the super employee tried to help him out or was going to kindly show him the 2+ steps to the bathroom. Instead, he proceeds to tell me about how he needs to get his drivers license renewed and the line at the DMV was too long and too far away (did he go?) and then he pulls out his notice from his pocket and reads me the paperwork he needs to bring in in order to renew correctly. He needs a birth certificate, to which he responds "I mean I haven't seen that since I went into the Navy", a marriage certificate, his response, looking at empty ring finger, proof of social security "oh i have that in jacksonville, no wait, its in my pocket hahaha". Now what is funny about that? Then he goes on to explain that President Bush messed this all up for him because of the illegal aliens, then tells me how he is in fact not an illegal alien. At this point he is treading on thin ice with me.... 1. I am not a DMV 2. I was eating lunch and 3. I liked President Bush. Sorry sir but I will not be laughing at your joke.
Just this morning as I am setting up for a memorial an older gentleman, a younger woman and I were walking towards the chapel. When I turned to go into the office to continue my job he asks me where the entrance to the chapel was. Which you can see from the sidewalk we were on. Oh yeah and there were 4 or 5 people standing out in front of the entrance and said younger woman was still heading in that direction. Follow the yellow brick road, sir. So I point him in the right direction and continue with putting out my signs. As I am carrying a sign to the chapel I overhear him ask another man where the entrance to the chapel was... Hm... I could throw a rock at the chapel from where he was standing, and I cannot throw far.
I'm sure these won't be the strangest things that happen on this property today. And if they aren't I shall repost... Let's face it, I don't have anything else to do... I'm caught up on the Bachelorette (Go Kiptyn!!!!)
Love you Mom and Dad and Dixie (my only blogger fans)
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