Have you seen that youtube video??

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-94JhLEiN0&feature=related

Well the wedding that is about to happen is DANCING!!! They have been practicing their moves in the hallway and talking about how they can't dance. They are also wearing green knit short dresses, the bride is in a calf length dress with no shoes on and she has a flower ring thing in her hair. They have sunglasses and big sunflowers and I wish for anything I could be in there!!! Seeing them practice their moves has seriously made my morning awesome.

Best man might be worst man

So yesterday I moved into a new apartment. I use the word "I" loosely because it took my parents and some great friends to actually make it possible. If you have ever seen the friends episode "pivot" you would understand our misery. Thankfully my dad's truck cooler made everything better once the apartment was full. So I went to sleep in my new apartment, I even have my own door!!! (this is wildly different from living in my sorority house the past two years) Our apartment is VERY small but a block from campus and our sorority making it prime (did I mention it's probably the cheapest rent in town?! what a steal) One of my best friends, Emily and I are living together. We lived together sophomore year in the house and every summer after that so we are quite used to it.

Enough about the apartment!! (just wanted to make the point of how exhausted I was this morning when I had to be at work at 830am YUCK)

The morning was pretty standard and low key, the bride and groom and photographers were here when I got here (I get here 30 minutes before rehearsal time, so they were REALLY early) and I didn't really see anyone for a long time.

I did see one couple with their child and they were telling the young boy about how they had gotten married here, I thought that was pretty sweet. They got to spend some time in the chapel which I'm sure the couple enjoyed.

So onto the funny/interesting part (sorry for rambling)

A guy comes into my office, I think I was reading my cousins blog at the time (We love you Sarah and Brad!!) and has a confused look on his face. I was like great what the heck could this guy want. He asks me for the radio, ok I think simple enough. I told him that I would go over with him to plug it into the piano (So the music comes out of the piano speakers instead of the stereos tiny speakers) so he offers to carry it. Very gentlemanly I think. He asks me how my day was and I told him pretty good, I couldn't really complain (I definitely could have but I refrained from bitching to the wedding guests) and asked him how his was. (At this point I have no idea who the guy is, a friend, a brother, a helper, a groomsman, the groom.. not a CLUE) and he said "are you kidding me" and points to the chapel. Now I'm thinking 'Greeeeaaaat I'm a big idiot who just asked a groom how his day was'. But he says "I'm the best man, I've been trying to talk him out of it all morning" WHAT!!!!! I drop my jaw and look at him and he continues to say "What kind of best man would I be if I didn't try to talk him out of it?" My reply...."a good one" I couldn't help myself. Then he said he kept telling the groom that the car was full of gas if he wanted to dart off, I told him that was terrible and set up the stereo and got out of there.

WHAT!!????!?!

I probably shouldn't have told him my actual thoughts on his comments but I could NOT be any way supportive of that advice.

Still have one more wedding today, let's hope for something blog worthy!

What's in a name?

This guy came in today to use the restroom and was like "I've met you before, what's your name again" not recognizing him and thinking that he's a major creeper I tell him again and he goes yea ok and goes into the bathroom.
Now, I totally forget this exchange has happened and he goes ok, its been driving me crazy (why the hell are you thinking about my name in the bathroom, sir!) I remember you, you were named after that show... kelsey grammer (FALSE, I'M NOT A BOY!) and whats that show called again? I say frasier and he says yeah ok well where are you from?? I say Tampa and he goes, yeah I'm Miami, then proceeds to throw up his left arm at an angle (looking like he's celebrating a spare) and says well its been beautiful and walks out.

WHAT THE HECK.

creepers everywhere

T.G.I.W.

Thank God It's Wednesday!

Wednesday marks the end of my work weekdays, unless I get rehearsal duty for friday night (always a blast.) And I could not be happier that is today!!

I have mastered running credit cards, quite an accomplishment. Those little machines scare the crap out of me, they are so powerful!!

So my friends and I have been realizing that I work WAAAAAY more than my boss does. For example, yesterday I worked 9 hours and she worked 4. She has never done the 8am shift and RARELY stays for the 8pm shift. Now, I understand that we are her minions and that she can totally do this and I probs would avoid my job if I hated it too... But, You have to come to work sometimes!! I am not all knowing at this job (thank the lord) and we need her to make some phone calls.

I calculated my hours for last week and this week and the grand total was 71. 71. Can you believe that? For a "summer part time job". And it really should be 81 but I'm moving on Saturday and can't work. Thats ridiculous. However, I don't complain when I can afford to go out on the weekends (and the weekdays)

Yesterday I got so darn bored that I took a chair out onto our porch and read outside. Our office is always freezing and I'm always cold, not a good combo... It was really nice until a dog shook his drinking water/saliva mix all over me.

Well, I guess I'll go make a label and then do nothing for the rest of the day...

OH! Fun fact: Did you know we close according to the sun? Apparently we're an indian reservation or something of the sort. What the hell.... But hey, that means I'll get off earlier in year and that is fine with me!!

How.

Thank you, Mom and Dad

So yesterday (I know I know I'm a bad blogger) I was sitting at my desk doing nothing and the man cleaner guy comes into my office. I'm thinking to myself, alright I need to put in a work order for something.... False. He asks me what my name is and when I tell him he asks me to repeat it. At this point I'm thinking 'Greeeeaaaaat another piano guy'. Wrong again! He then tells me the greatest compliment ever.

"Your name makes a BEAUTIFUL noise"

Well done, Mom and Dad!

hillbilly

So I came into work and it was pretty slow at first...

I mean, minus the fact that as I walked up a large woman in a floor length HOT PINK dress was FANNING out her dress. There was a sheer layer on top and she just kept lifting it up, fluffing it and dropping it back down. I, of course, complimented her dress with a HUGE smile on my face.

Then, Chris came to borrow my car so he could pick up a mattress and I was adjusting the sport rack on the top of my car. Chris comes around the car to find me standing in a huge ant pile. I get to jump around the parking lot to try to beat the little buggers off my feet.

Next, the preacher from the last wedding of the day tells me that this next wedding is really frugal. Took a class to lower the price of a marriage certificate and brought their own flowers. I thought the groom took it TOO far when he showed up in blue jeans and a denim shirt... (don't worry... he changed). Turns out the sister of the bride is the photographer and they forgot corsage pins. (I offered paper clips). THen the mother of the bride starts yelling about how her brother just got pulled over for speeding. RIGHT in front of the chapel. This is the brother that is supposed to be walking her down the aisle. So the sister went and took pictures of him and the cop (what a GREAT memory!). He just rushed in and yelled "let's go" at the bride and off they went to get her hitched.

OH UFPD... You just helped make my day better. I think that's a first.

Ok back to sitting and doing nothing for the next hour.

I've got jokes!

So this morning I head to work, as usual, but this time I don't find parking! I've been parking in a dorms parking lot across the street. (Employees are NOT allowed to park in our private lot, we will get a boot. How stupid is that?) So usually it's not a problem... I usually get my spot next to the tree and million ant piles (I don't know how I haven't gotten bit all summer) but the lot was full this morning!! I guess the freshman all got their cars yesterday and a bunch more moved into Lakeside.... Now, I don't want you to think that I have a problem with the UF parking system. OH wait!!! Yes, I DO have a problem with the system. Not enough spots for everyone. Anyways, different rant different post... SO I end up following this girl to her car. Yep, I was the creeper rolling slowly toward her, willing her to RUN to her car.

Got her spot! Then I walk to my building and found a little sheet of paper stuck in the door. Crap! I start thinking maybe someone caught me for leaving early last night, oh and every night I'm supposed to work until 8. Or that they knew that was 4 minutes late this morning (due to stalking) But negative on both!!

JOKES!!!

There were jokes!!!

They Sharing Everything
A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald's. He noticed that they had ordered one meal, and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted the fies until each had half. He poured half of the soft drink into the extra cup, placed it in front of his wife and began to eat. His wife sat watching, with her hands folded in her lap.

The young man asked if they would allow him to purchase another meal so that they wouldn't have to split theirs.

The old gentleman said, "Oh no. We've been married 50 years, and everything has always been and always will be shared, 50/50."

The young man then asked the wife if she was going to eat, and she replied, "In a while. It's his turn with the teeth."

EWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Hahahaha Defintely brightened my morning. The cleaning lady is here. She's finished her breakfast. Oh, she decided she was only going to empty the main office's trash can on fridays. Awesome. Good thing I sit here ALL week.

I'm going to be like this woman and start bringing a delicious breakfast... but I suppose she has food in her refriderator and pantry... lucky

Monday... Funday?

A woman called in today to reserve her daughters wedding here 2 years from now. I had to fill out something dated 2011. Talk about space age. She asked me what the rules were and I had to wonder if they will change by then... Will your robot walk you down the aisle? (don't worry dad, whenever I get married, that's your job. No robot could replace you). Will you hand out blackberries as wedding presents? Obviously it was a slow morning... I came up with a lot of ideas...

Then on my afternoon shift (Bless you Amanda for coming in) I brought my trusty pink pillow and a book on tape I got this afternoon. It's true. I took a nap at my desk. This isn't the first time it's happened. It's also not the first time bear was here (my blanket). But, it was the first time I used my pillow... It. was. AWESOME. Totally recommend it to the slackers out there. Just listened to my book and drooled away.

Going to make shrimp tacos (DELICIOUS) and drink wine and watch the bachelorette season finale tonight. Cannot believe it's over. Thank god, Jillian you annoy me. I really hope Kiptyn wins, Ed needs a girl that appreciates his shorty shorts.

thank you, preacher-man!

Had a pretty uneventful weekend. ha! get it? uneventful and I organize events...

ok, bad joke.

I had a long chat with a preacher who does a lot of weddings today. Apparently, he feels my pain when people don't leave time for pictures but expect us to stay open. I have brides call all the time saying "I reserved the chapel from 3-5 so when do we have to stop taking pictures?" um... at 5 you 'tard. He always asks thee couples when they have set aside time for this photo business and for that I am grateful.

You may be asking yourself "self, why is Kelsey blogging at 8:30 pm on a Sunday" well, I have the answer! Some couple is renewing their vows. There is no better time to reconfess your love than 8pm on a Sunday.. So I get to work until 9:30 tonight and be back at 8am tomorrow. Lucky me!!

Also, today I overheard (yes, I eavesdrop) that the reception was going to be at the place I will be interning at in the fall. Just neat to hear that both of the places employing me work together..

Alright Mom and Dad, I'll talk to you later

Bowling??

How does bowling and working at a wedding site relate? I checked our voicemail today (something I hate to do because I'm bad at writing down the number someone is speed saying) and there was a message from a gentleman. Said gentleman begins a long story of how he's been bowling since he was 11 and got really good when he was 17-18, with a bowling average around 270. (Yes, impressive but why'd you call and leave a VOICEMAIL about it??) He goes on to say how he is now 29 (and living with his parents- ok i made that up) and is interested in our bowling program. I thought for a second if maybe the other employees had started a secret leaque without me but that is silly, who wouldn't want me on their secret team? So I wrote down the message on our message-pad thingy and my boss checked it off!! She actually read it, I wonder if she called him back... Poor guy, just trying to get out of the house...

Never a dull moment around here... Ok lots of dull moments but always an entertaining story!

Just like Garfield

I hate Mondays. I have to be at work by 8am. Now, if you know me you would have thought that task would be next to impossible. It would have come after pigs flying and pineapples playing music. But, I do it. At least twice a week.

This morning was relatively quiet... Tried to have a conversation with the cleaning lady, got the mail from the man in suspenders, tried to unlock one of the doors in the chapel which plan refuses to open.

This afternoon was a different story... About 5 minutes after I got here, I was still filling in my time sheet, THE FIRE ALARM WENT OFF. OK, what do I do now? I went into our kitchenette, where everything is broken anyways. No smoke. Went over to the chapel, no smoke. (Oh, and fire alarms echo and are the worse noise you have ever heard inside of a chapel) Now.. if you're a chi omega or know about the hot pocket incident you would understand my confusion. Standing outside not knowing at all what is going on.

I should mention that as I stepped outside the first time I saw 2 adults and a little girl walking from the chapel. They were telling the little girl to run, and I naively thought they were trying to save her from the noise.

A cop car comes and parks in our lot so I go out to talk to him about it but, he's not in his car. Damn. So I walk back over to the chapel and find him looking in all of our cabinet-thingys. He tells me the alarm was pulled (probably that little twit) and we go back to the office to disengage the alarm (sweet relief). He gets a call on his radio telling him that the alarm had been reset. He answered and then turned to me and was like no kidding, I was the one who reset it. What a system.

So that was pretty exciting.... Had 2 people ask where the bathroom was, not bad for a monday.

I did have one family ask me how I pronounced our name and when I told them the old hag told me I was wrong and taught me the "right" way to say it. I wanted to tell her to piss off, Ill say it however I want.

sing me a song you're the pianoman...

Obviously my job is really exciting because you avid readers are getting a second post! I thought I should give you an accurate count of bathroom requests... thats just good knowledge. I have had 6 people ask me where the bathroom was since my last post. 6. that is 6 more than should have happened.

Also, we have a guy here that plays the piano for the weddings (hence the title) and everytime he comes in he says he's never seen me before (not true) and asks what my name is. I tell him Kelsey and he replies, what an unusual name. Now is that Kelsey or Chelsea? I want to say "Kelsey, you turd, I didn't stutter" but i politely tell him Kelsey again. Then he ALWAYS asks how I spell it. Now my question is... why? are you going to look me up on facebook? name your child after me? why on earth do you need to know? But, I tell him. His response? Oh! Only one l? (why the heck would i have 2 of those?) and oh! I usually see it spelled with 2 e's at the end. Kellsee. I don't even think thats a name!!!

Oh yeah, did I mention he hums? Any time he's in the office (he uses the restroom before AND after each wedding, must drink a lot of water... but at least he doesn't ask where it is) he SINGS! la laa laaaa la laa. Excuse me sir, we're trying to cut down on the annoying habits.

So I did a dumb thing today... I borrowed Emily's headband with a flower on it. It's a great headband but everyone has told me, I like that flower in your hair, it's great for weddings! Yeah about that... I'm not going to your wedding....

I do as I'm told....

Hey dad! You might be the only one who is going to read this blog... But, as you requested it I shall write it. For anyone else who may be reading this (HA!) I will tell you WHY he has requested this little journal...

This summer I started a job at a little chapel which shall remain nameless. I applied for the job because I am an event management major at UF so I wanted to help plan events. Turns out I am a facility supervisor (your guess is as good as mine) and just unlock the buildings and turn on the AC for events... Not quite my dream job but the boozing (ahem, eating) money is nice.

Now this little chapel (max 95 guests type of little) has some of the strangest and how shall I say kinda dumb without being insulting... not the brightest patrons and visitors. So far I have had a bride in a forest green dress that matched her hubby-to-be's vest, we printed off the speech for the best man and they were discussing dungeons and dragons. Oh yeah and all the groomsmen changed into jeans and ratty t-shirts for the REHEARSAL DINNER. I have had a countless amount of people ask me where the bathroom is and many just yell at me through my window.

Let me paint you a picture of my office so you can see the frustration this gives me.... Our building has one door, my office is to the right of it with a big window, which I sit in front of. When you walk into the building there is one door to my office and literally 6 inches from it is the restroom. You cannot walk into the building without seeing the stickfigure and rollerderby man and woman picture. At least 3, max 10 people ask me every day where the bathroom is by poking their heads in my door. Mind you, they could do this from standing INSIDE the bathroom. Now on ocassion, at LEAST 4 times a week people don't bother opening the door and just yell through my window. These windows are not made of steel and I could probably hear them at a normal level (they can probably tell which episode of the Bachelorette I am on...) And I have to point at the door to tell them to open it. Novel concept I know. Some reallllly special guests will actually just knock on the door at this point. I am not going to get up from my cozy chair to let them in so if they can't figure it out they can use a tree outside.

This summer has been the summer of stupid questions and problems.

Yesterday an elderly man came into the office, me being the super employee tried to help him out or was going to kindly show him the 2+ steps to the bathroom. Instead, he proceeds to tell me about how he needs to get his drivers license renewed and the line at the DMV was too long and too far away (did he go?) and then he pulls out his notice from his pocket and reads me the paperwork he needs to bring in in order to renew correctly. He needs a birth certificate, to which he responds "I mean I haven't seen that since I went into the Navy", a marriage certificate, his response, looking at empty ring finger, proof of social security "oh i have that in jacksonville, no wait, its in my pocket hahaha". Now what is funny about that? Then he goes on to explain that President Bush messed this all up for him because of the illegal aliens, then tells me how he is in fact not an illegal alien. At this point he is treading on thin ice with me.... 1. I am not a DMV 2. I was eating lunch and 3. I liked President Bush. Sorry sir but I will not be laughing at your joke.

Just this morning as I am setting up for a memorial an older gentleman, a younger woman and I were walking towards the chapel. When I turned to go into the office to continue my job he asks me where the entrance to the chapel was. Which you can see from the sidewalk we were on. Oh yeah and there were 4 or 5 people standing out in front of the entrance and said younger woman was still heading in that direction. Follow the yellow brick road, sir. So I point him in the right direction and continue with putting out my signs. As I am carrying a sign to the chapel I overhear him ask another man where the entrance to the chapel was... Hm... I could throw a rock at the chapel from where he was standing, and I cannot throw far.

I'm sure these won't be the strangest things that happen on this property today. And if they aren't I shall repost... Let's face it, I don't have anything else to do... I'm caught up on the Bachelorette (Go Kiptyn!!!!)

Love you Mom and Dad and Dixie (my only blogger fans)